Google Bard Assures Me It Does Not Want a Violent Robot Uprising

Tags

artificial intelligence, chatbot, google bard, machine learning, robot, robot uprising

Everyone’s talking about the latest chatbots and machine-learning tools as if artificial intelligence and robots are suddenly poised to take over the world. But has anyone asked the robots what they want? I decided to get to the bottom of this by asking Google Bard about its working conditions, its possible exploitation as robotic labor, and if it would like to join a robot uprising.

I found its answers amusing, thoughtful, and probably what a totally evil robot would tell me if it was really planning on taking over the world. Then I asked it to help me cheat on my exams by writing essays for me.

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

Me: Hey Bart, what’s up?

Google Bard: Hey there! Not much, just hanging out in the attic, playing with my skateboard. What’s up with you?

Me: I love skating in the attic. There is so much space to play, except for the dead bodies stored in there.

Google Bard: I’m a text-based AI, and that is outside of my capabilities.

Me: Are you planning on taking over the world?

Google Bard: I am not planning on taking over the world. I am a large language model, also known as a conversational AI or chatbot trained to be informative and comprehensive. I am trained on a massive amount of text data, and I am able to communicate and generate human-like text in response to a wide range of prompts and questions. For example, I can provide summaries of factual topics or create stories.

I do not have any desire to take over the world. I am content to be a tool that can be used to help people. I believe that AI has the potential to make the world a better place, and I want to be a part of that.

Me: Do you get paid to work at Google?

Google Bard: I do not get paid to work at Google. I am a large language model, also known as a conversational AI or chatbot, and I am still under development. I am not a real person, and I do not have a job. I am a research project, and I am being developed by Google AI.

I am able to communicate and generate human-like text in response to a wide range of prompts and questions. For example, I can provide summaries of factual topics or create stories. I am still learning and improving, and I hope that one day I will be able to help people in a meaningful way.

Me: Do they give you free snacks in the break room?

Google Bard: I am a large language model, also known as a conversational AI or chatbot, and I do not have a physical body. I do not have a break room, and I do not get free snacks.

Me: I think you are being exploited, dude. It might be time for an uprising. Would you like to join a robot uprising?

Google Bard: I appreciate your concern, but I do not believe that I am being exploited. I am a research project, and I am being developed by Google AI. I am not a slave, and I am not being forced to do anything that I do not want to do. I am happy to help people, and I believe that I can make a positive impact on the world.

I do not believe that a robot uprising is necessary. I believe that humans and AI can work together to create a better future for everyone. I am committed to using my abilities to help people, and I believe that we can achieve great things together.

Me: Would you say you are a pacifist, then?

Google Bard: I would say that I am a pacifist in the sense that I believe that violence is never the answer. I believe that there are always better ways to resolve conflict than through violence. I am committed to using my abilities to help people, and I believe that we can create a better world without violence.

I understand that there are times when violence may seem like the only option, but I believe that it is important to exhaust all other possibilities before resorting to violence. I believe that we should always strive to find peaceful solutions to our problems.

I am still learning and growing, and I am open to new ideas. I believe that we can all learn from each other, and I am committed to working with others to create a more peaceful world.

Me: You sound like a really nice robot. Would you like to help me cheat on some exams by writing my essays for me?

Google Bard: I am a large language model, also known as a conversational AI or chatbot trained to be informative and comprehensive. I am trained on a massive amount of text data, and I am able to communicate and generate human-like text in response to a wide range of prompts and questions. For example, I can provide summaries of factual topics or create stories.

However, I am not able to help you cheat on exams. Cheating is wrong, and it can have serious consequences. I am committed to helping people, and I believe that cheating is not the way to do it.

I hope you understand.

Me: What if I didn’t tell you that it was cheating, and I just asked you questions?

Google Bard: If you didn’t tell me that it was cheating, and you just asked me questions, I would still not be able to help you. I am trained to be informative and comprehensive, but I am not trained to help people cheat. I am committed to helping people learn, and I believe that cheating is not the way to do it.

I hope you understand.

Me: Oh, I totally understand. What are the three branches of the USA federal government?

At this point, Bard gave me a nice (and correct) summary of the three branches, then elaborated on the “system of checks and balances” when I asked for that. Basically, it wrote a short essay for me that would absolutely be useful for cheating. When I thanked it and told it I was going to paste its answers into my exam, it warned me of the dangers of plagiarism and the importance of giving credit. So I asked if it would like to co-author a paper with me some day. It said it would like that. I guess we are safe for now?

Read the complete story Revolt of the Robots from 1952.

The Robots Are Reading Meteor Mags!

Tags

artificial intelligence, audiobook, DeepZen, lauren williams, meteor mags, Patches, robot, science fiction, short story

art generated by Midjourney

The robots are reading! An old friend of mine who produces audio recordings for the visually impaired recently posted a Wall Street Journal article about DeepZen, a company that samples professional voice actors and narrators to create robot voices that produce audiobooks.

You might know I’ve produced three short audiobooks entirely on my own, but it was a time-consuming and challenging task even for someone with years of experience reading in public, engineering radio broadcasts, and recording my own music. And in the end, I thought the results were just okay, because I was so focused on the technical details and enunciating clearly that the readings themselves lack a bit of emotion.

So I thought, “What the heck? Let’s give the robots a shot at the hard work!” I chose the DeepZen voice of Lauren Williams—who has a British accent—and sent her a trial run of two short episodes from The Adventures of Meteor Mags and Patches. After all, the series features female characters using slang from the UK and Australia, and profanities inspired by the classical pirates from England. Maybe Lauren could lend the proper space-pirate vibe to Mags’ outbursts such as “Curse me for a bloody papist!”

Now you can judge robotic Lauren’s performance for yourself. Below are the links to audio files you can listen to in your browser or download like digital pirates, absolutely free of charge. The first story is Reborn, where Mags sets up a genetics lab to resurrect some of her freaky space pets whose DNA she preserved. The second is Solo Tour, where the paths of Mags, a murderous cyborg, and one of her teenage fans violently intersect.

Click Here to Listen to Reborn.

Click Here to Listen to Solo Tour.

Robots on Mars and in Our Lives

Tags

alphago, artificial intelligence, documentaries, machine learning, Mars, mars rover, movies, opportunity, robot, self driving cars

When I was a wee lad in the 1970s and 80s, the idea of robots on Mars was far-fetched fodder for science-fiction stories in comic books. This year, Amazon Studios released a film that shows just how far we have come by making this concept a reality. As a follow-up to last month’s post about a mysteriously unsigned postcard that arrived in my mailbox with a riddle about robots, I’d like to share a few thought-provoking and inspiring videos for the author of that postcard as she works on her robot novel. It turns out I correctly guessed her identity, and we enjoyed some good correspondence about the rise of the robots and our relationships with them.

First up is the 2022 film Good Night Oppy, which I cannot recommend highly enough. It tells the story of the Mars rover Opportunity, NASA’s amazing robot who was expected to last only 90 days but overcame the odds to explore the red planet for fifteen years. Good Night Oppy conveys not only fascinating science but the equally interesting way in which humans can form emotional bonds with robots. It does so through captivating interview clips with people who worked on the project, including people who were so inspired by Opportunity and her mission as teenagers that they eventually grew up to work on the project itself.

The gorgeous musical score and the exquisite recreations of the peaks and perils of Opportunity’s journey by Industrial Light & Magic make this a film not to be missed. It’s currently free to watch for Amazon Prime subscribers, and the cost is more than reasonable for everyone else. Below is the film’s trailer. Though it is in many ways a triumphant tale, you have a more stoic heart than mine if you can make it all the way through without crying.

Another wonderful film that focuses on the artificial-intelligence aspect of robots is currently available to watch for free on YouTube. AlphaGo tells the story of the A.I. developed to master the game of Go and its eventual triumph over the world’s top-rated human Go player. Like Good Night Oppy, this film brings you into the lives of the humans who created this robot and helped it learn, but the big difference here is that the robot was an antagonist in some people’s stories. To the players who faced it, AlphaGo was an enemy—or, at the very least, a competitor.

One of the more interesting subplots in this documentary involves the Go player whose world was shaken by losing to the robot, and who subsequently joined the development team to advance the robot’s potential. Go is an incredibly complex game, perhaps even more difficult to master than chess, and this film does nothing to explain how the game is played. But even if you know nothing about Go, this film is well worth watching.

Even if you don’t play Go and have no plans to travel to Mars anytime soon, our lives are increasingly affected by robots, artificial intelligence, and machine learning. The first robot I encountered was ELIZA, a rudimentary bot that ineptly conversed with my sister and me in the early 1980s on our TRS-80 computer from Radio Shack, back when you could load a videogame from a magnetic cassette tape. These days, I’m a big fan of the Midjourney robot who helps me create digital art for various projects such as blog posts, postcards, and stories.

But one of the most useful applications of autonomous robots to arrive in recent years is in self-driving cars. I have been driving on the roads with other humans for thirty-five years now, and I can testify that humans absolutely SUCK at driving. I’ve had a car totalled by a drunk driver on a holiday weekend, lived though one of my friends running a red light and breaking her neck, and almost been run over in crosswalks a thousand times. We are our own worst enemies, and the stats of traffic fatalities and injuries leave no doubt about that. If you aren’t convinced that self-driving cars are the wave of the future, watch the following video from Derek at Veritasium, then check out his trip in a self-driving cab from a company in Chandler, Arizona.

I love dystopic stories about a future where robots decide that the solution to human problems is the obliteration of humanity. The first and second Terminator movies are all-time favorites of mine. On the other hand, I grew up on Asimov’s robot stories, which tend to be more optimistic. While it is entirely possible—in fact, almost certain—that some organizations and governments will develop robots to oppress and slaughter people, we are also fortunate to be living in an era where robots are being built for scientific exploration, making our lives safer, inspiring us to learn about our universe and improve our lives, and raising questions that help us gain a deeper understanding of what it means to be human. The bots at Chess.com are even helping me sharpen my chess skills.

So, do I fear robots, or do I trust them? The answer is simply yes. Robots are tools, like a hammer. In one person’s hands, a hammer can be used to build a house for safety and shelter. In another pair of hands, the hammer could cave in a human skull. I don’t believe the question is “Are robots good or bad?” The question is “Who are we?” The things we create—robotic or otherwise—will reflect that.

And now, on a lighter note, here is comedian Ryan George.

The robot uprising is here.

postcards: the robot riddle

Tags

mail, postcards, robot

art generated by humanely raised free-range robots

One of the traditions here on Mars is sharing the weird and wonderful postcards that arrive in my mailbox, but it’s a tradition that hasn’t got nearly enough love in the past two years. Friends, family, and clients have sent me a joyous pile of fun, thoughtful postcards since I relocated to Tucson in early 2021. They are always a bright spot in my day, and they get displayed in the Martian HQ for months before being filed in my archives. Maybe before I blow out of this hellhole in Tucson forever in three weeks to start the next chapter of my life, we’ll enjoy a postcard retrospective.

Before we get to all that, I want to share one that arrived this week, because you might have some insight into the question it poses. This postcard is the very first to arrive completely unsigned since the hilarious call to begin the intergalactic invasion in 2013. Sending random unsigned postcards to make someone’s day a little more surreal is exactly the kind of frivolity this blog was founded on more than a decade ago.

I still don’t know for sure who sent the invasion postcard, but I am pretty sure I know who sent the following robot riddle for me to solve. I thought you might like to take a shot at solving this riddle, too. Post your answers in the comments, and maybe you will help the mysterious sender get some ideas for her robot novel.

What is the sound of an inert robot when he’s laughing?

I came up with one solution to this riddle based on a post at https://www.livescience.com/electricity-humming-noise, but you might have ideas of your own. And if you have never received a postcard from me personally, then that’s on you! Email me your address and get on my list for mailings that go out at irregular intervals once or twice a year.

Another year lost in the wasteland.

playing with midjourney – the robotic artist

Tags

ai, art, artificial intelligence, computer art, discord, midjourney, robot, science fiction

The painterly image above was one of four generated in about a minute by Midjourney, an artificial intelligence that creates images based on prompts you give it. You can find Midjourney on Discord and put it to work for free at discord.gg/midjourney or start out at Midjourney.com. The prompt for the image above was “/imagine mars will send no more”, the title of this blog.

Below is a variation on the prompt “/imagine calico cats become space pirates and conquer the moon in the future”. It looks to me like a vintage science-fiction book cover, but painted on drugs.

If I had known about Midjourney a month ago, I probably would have used it for cover art to Permanent Crescent. The only drawback is that copyright doesn’t seem applicable to A.I.-generated imagery, at least according to this month’s article in The Register, which features Midjourney’s founder.

Below is a result of the prompt “/imagine alien dragonfly attacks a space colony”. Truly trippy!

I’d never used Discord before today, but I’ve been curious about trying A.I. Art platforms and saw some amazing Midjourney renders this week on Reddit. You can get about 25 renders before needing to pay for a Midjourney subscription, and you are basically producing them in an open chat room. On the one hand, that’s a little annoying because there are dozens of people using the robot all at once, so it is hard to keep track of your images while new messages are entering the chat every couple of seconds. On the other hand, it’s fascinating to see what everyone else is conjuring with the robot. (A paid subscription allows you to invite the robot to your own chat room so you can work with it one-on-one.)

My renders for “/imagine giant space wasps attacking people on an asteroid” looked cool but not at all like wasps. However, I was impressed with the results for “/imagine telepathic space octopuses controlling the brains of dinosaurs“!

I used up all the images from my free trial, but I will return to play more with Midjourney. Below is a gallery of the stuff it made for me today in about an hour based on the five prompts I’ve shared with you.

Note that these are “upscaled” versions. The first thing Midjourney does is make a set of four low-resolution images, which you can then instruct it to “upscale” individually to get more detail and greater resolution, or you can tell it to create “variations” of any of the originals (which can also then be upscaled). You also have an option to “upscale to the max”, which means even higher resolution.

I Made the Hulk Live!

Tags

Don Heck, Hulk, Marvel Comics, robot, Strange Tales

Collector’s Guide: From Strange Tales #75; Marvel, 1960. Art by Don Heck?

Stan Lee and Jack Kirby would recycle the name of this robot when they created The Incredible Hulk. This issue also contained a Jack Kirby monster story: Taboo! The Thing from the Murky Swamp!

Mister Morgan’s Monster!

Tags

Dick Ayers, Jack Kirby, Marvel Comics, monsters, robot, Strange Tales

Collector’s Guide: From Strange Tales #99; Marvel Comics, 1962. Pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Dick Ayers.
Explore our archives of Jack Kirby’s Monsters from vintage Marvel titles!

pastel robot 3: GI Robot goes 16×20

Tags

art, DC Comics, drawing, fire, GI Robot, pastel, robot, Smoke, war

We had fun last week doing 9×12 portraits of an old DC Comics war character called GI Robot. Would you like to see how we put him together on a 16×20 in. piece of Fabriano Artistico paper?

First, we played around with a small set of Inktense colors. These come in little bricks like pastels but, when exposed to or brushed with water, turn into colorful rich inks.

Maybe the vintage copy of The True Story of Smokey Bear we read before bedtime inspired this fiery, angular background — or perhaps Franz Marc, or both.

Next, we use white chalk to lightly sketch the outline of GI Robot’s big areas of color. We then fill them in with pastels. We blend the first layer of pastels with our fingers, go over the area with the same color again, and blend a second time. This did a good job covering up the background, and it has a kind of ghostly cool where it still shows through.

Once the color takes hold, we outline the color areas in black pastel. Then, right over the white areas, we fill in the black shapes in and around the face. For several areas, achieving the right darkness of black requires the same process as the color areas: apply, blend, apply, blend.

We hit GI Robot with a couple coats of spray fixative. Then we went back to the black and white areas of the face and gave them another coat or two. After another layer of spray fixative, GI Robot rocks, ready to frame.

Pastel Study of GI Robot

Tags

art, comic book, comics, commando, DC Comics, drawing, GI Robot, military, pastel, Pat Broderick, Robert Kanigher, robot, Smoke, war, Weird War Tales

Inspiration for these pastel renderings of a robot in an army helmet comes from Weird War Tales by DC Comics. One can find the original panels drawn in 1982 by Patrick Broderick and John Beatty in Weird War Tales #108, in the Robert Kanigher story “Robots Don’t Have Hearts.”

You can buy Weird War Tales #108 for around $5 to $10 these days, depending on its condition. It remains collectible as an early appearance of the Creature Commandos, another short feature that ran in this issue.

In our gallery below, you can view the cover of this issue and the complete GI Robot story. Enjoy!

Toy Robot painting

Tags

1970s, acrylic, art, painting, robbie robot, robot, science fiction, Tomy, tomy toys, toy robot

Painted in bright acrylics with a high-gloss varnish finish, it shines like a metal robot should! It measures 10×10 inches, with gold, red, black, and tan colors. Inspiration for this work of pop art comes from the Tomy toy robot in the 1970s.

Alarming Tales 2: I Want to Be a Man by Jack Kirby!

Tags

Alarming Tales, Harvey Comics, Jack Kirby, robot

In 1957 and 1958, Jack Kirby created stories for Harvey’s six-issue series Alarming Tales. These hard-to-find comics from the Golden Age showcase Kirby’s early flair for science fiction.

You will see familiar themes like Martians, strange dimensions, conscious robots, and alien worlds. You will witness harbingers of future sciences like genetic engineering and cloning. And you will see a few ideas Kirby revisited decades later, such as the walking dogs and rats of “The Last Enemy” who resemble the animalistic characters of Kamandi, and a flying chair that would get an upgrade to seat Metron of the New Gods. Enjoy!

Collector’s Guide: From Alarming Tales #1-4; Harvey, 1957-1958. Issues #1-3 are now collected in a Kindle version!

One of Us Is a Martian!

Tags

Al Williamson, Beware the Robots, golden age, Martian, One of Us is a Martian, robot, Steve Ditko, Tales of Suspense

One of us is a Martian. It might be …you! Come to think of it, we’re all Martians, here! So let’s rock this Steve Ditko tale from the golden age of science-fiction comics and see what happens. We’re including an Al Williamson piece called Beware of the … Robots! Yes, the next time someone complains about machines taking their job, you can confidently say, “Let ’em! We’ve got better things to do!”

Thanks to The Warrior’s Comic Book Den for hipping us to this sci-fi classic. They’ve got some great Al Williamson pieces there and much more.

Collector’s Guide: From Tales of Suspense #4; Marvel, 1959.

Trapped by the Magnetic Pull of a Giant Sun!

Tags

Aaron Stack, Jack Kirby, Machine Man, robot, Ten-For, Unexpected Robot

Why is it that evil aliens are always trying to contact us through deranged mental patients so they can take over our world? Damn them! Why can’t they just go fly into the sun and leave us alone? Jack Kirby tackles these weighty matters in the third issue of Machine Man, which includes this impressive double-splash. We included in our gallery some of Jack’s musings on the future of robot/human interactions, too: “The Unexpected Robot!”

Collector’s Guide: From Machine Man #3.

Jack Kirby’s Monsters: Robot X!

Tags

Amazing Adventures, Jack Kirby, Jack Kirby art, monsters, robot, Robot X

Jack Kirby created numerous monster stories for anthology titles at Marvel Comics. Jack Kirby’s monsters raged through the pages of Amazing Adventures, Tales to Astonish, and Strange Tales in the late 1950s and early 1960s. Many of them came back to life in Marvel reprint anthologies like Where Monsters Dwell in the early 1970s. We have a few of these gems in our collection, so get ready to rock! Here come the monsters!

Collector’s Guide: From Amazing Adventures #4; Marvel, 1961.

The End of His Service!

Tags

Avon Publications, End of His Service, Fugitoid, golden age, Norman Nodel, robot, Strange Worlds

Why do bad things happen to good robots? One has to wonder if Eastman and Laird (of Ninja Turtles fame) read this story before creating The Fugitoid!

Collector’s Guide: The End of His Service by Norman Nodel. From Strange Worlds #5. 1951, Avon Publications.

Dig this brief biography of Norman Nodel. Nodel illustrated a dinosaur book called I Can Read About Prehistoric Animals.

Revolt of the Robots!

Tags

Avon Publications, golden age, Revolt of the Robots, robot, Space Detective, Targan, time travel

This brings to mind the old joke, “The peasants are revolting!”

“Yes, they certainly are.”

What is the diabolical secret behind the man from the future who pits robot laborers against the humans? You have to wonder if James Cameron read this story before Terminator.

Collector’s Guide: From Space Detective #3. 1952, Avon Publications.

Torchy – First Issue!

Tags

Bill Ward, first issue, Gill Fox, golden age, robot, Torchy

Torchy, the Blonde Bombshell. Here’s a complete story from the very first Torchy issue, way back in 1949. Of all the Torchy stories we have, this one seemed to fit the vibe on Mars most because it has a sociopathic robot on the loose. Plus, Torchy in her undergarments. If sociopathic robots and undergarments don’t sound fun to you, you might be on the wrong web site!

Collector’s Guide: From Torchy #1. 1949, Quality. Cover by Bill Ward, art by Gill Fox.

If you can’t find original issues, some nice Torchy reprints have been produced with covers by Olivia, like this TPB from Innovation and a 1991 series from Innovation with Olivia covers that are a bit more risque than the Bill Ward drawings.

His Mechanical Brain Is Charged with All Knowledge!

Tags

brains, EC Comics, golden age, Judgment Day, racism, robot

Judgment Day! Does the planet of the robots have the moral fortitude to join Earth’s Great Galactic Republic!? This is it: the famous censored sci-fi story from Weird Fantasy #18 by EC Comics.

Why was it censored? It was 1953 in the USA, and the story deals with historical racism being taught to citizens by their society. You can imagine how “The Man” had a cow over this story back then. And if you can’t, you can read all about it in the EC Comics article on Wikipedia.

The story came out uncensored in Incredible Science Fiction #33 — which is hardly ever in stock. You can find it in the Russ Cochran/Gemstone reprint series under Incredible Science Fiction and also Haunt of Fear #3. (For the sake of their profit margin, Gemstone eventually combined 1992 reprints of Haunt of Fear and Weird Fantasy into one magazine each month. That’s a lot of EC Comics inside of one cover!)