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Mars Will Send No More

~ Comic books, art, poetry, and other obsessions

Mars Will Send No More

Tag Archives: advertising

How Not to Enjoy a Vacation!

20 Thursday Jun 2013

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in educational

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advertising, National Human Services Assembly, National Social Welfare Assembly

With Summer Solstice just around the corner, you might be thinking of taking a vacation this season. Before you do, take a minute to review these handy tips from The National Social Welfare Assembly.

Despite being about fifty years old, this public service announcement captures all the modern joys of vacationing: sunburns, speeding through scenic vistas in a death machine, and trashing our nation’s parks. They did forget, though, about getting smashed on cheap, canned beer and blaring crappy music at top volume to annoy other campers! Take it away, Terry.

Every Child Needs a Real Missile-Firing Tank!

13 Thursday Jun 2013

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in humor

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advertising, no rocket launchers in the house, tank

One of the great joys of being a kid is driving a fully-operational missile-firing tank through your parents’ house. And, it’s not something you want to do alone. That tank needs to be a two-seater so you can take your best friend, or your sibling, or just some random geek from the neighborhood you claim as a P.O.W. There’s just no sense in making weapons that only adults can use. Let’s blow the $6.98 on a tank and take the inter-generational arms race to the next level!

The Transparent Man!

24 Wednesday Apr 2013

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in dinosaur

≈ 2 Comments

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1934, advertising, chicago daily news, dinosaur, Sinclair, Sinclair Dinosaurs, Sinclair World's Fair Dinosaur, transparent man, worlds fair

chicago daily 1934 worlds fair souvenir - -007

Dig this. We scanned a little piece of history for you: pages from the 1934 Chicago Daily News issues celebrating their World’s Fair that year. Sinclair Oil had a major exhibit at the World’s Fair, and you will find many dinosaurs here. They include a dimetrodon, which is not actually a dinosaur but a therapsid or something. And, you find a triceratops mis-labeled as “Mr. Brontosaurus.”

chicago daily 1934 worlds fair souvenir - -015a

Some odd cultural artifacts populate this paper. You will find an ad for southern cooking that we might consider racist these days, ads for show girl revues, a town full of midgets, and proof that people were once very afraid their refrigerators might be unsafe. All that and more await you in our gallery here, so delve in!

chicago daily 1934 worlds fair souvenir - -009






Edwin Colbert’s World of Dinosaurs!

26 Tuesday Mar 2013

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in dinosaur, educational

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advertising, dinosaur, dinosaur books, Edwin H. Colbert, World of Dinosaurs

I found this ad for The World of Dinosaurs in an old issue of The Brave and the Bold. The book comes from paleontologist Edwin H. Colbert. Dinosaur enthusiasts know Colbert as one of the ten most influential paleontologists. Besides discovering dinos like Staurikosaurus and major collection of Coelophysis skeltons, Colbert discovered a skeleton of Lystrosaurus in Antarctica, providing strong evidence that the continents of Africa and Antarctica once joined together as what we now call Gondwana.

You can sometimes find copies of this 1961 dinosaur book on Amazon, among other books by Edwin Colbert.

George Geygan illustrated this book. Though I don’t know for sure, it seems to be the same George Geygan who did some covers for pulp novels, a book by Henry Treece called The Invaders, and the 1959 First Book of Astronomy.

Make All-Out War in Your Own Home!

24 Sunday Mar 2013

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in humor

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advertising, war

What kid wouldn’t jump at the chance to make all-out war in his own home? You get enough nuclear battle equipment for maximum effort warfare and massive counter-attack!

Dude, it used to be you could order guns, tobacco pipes, and ladies undergarments from comic books. You’d see an ad telling you to lose weight because no one likes fat people, then turn the page to an ad telling you to gain weight because no one likes skinny people. You could send away for the secrets of Kung Fu, a fake goatee, x-ray glasses, live seahorses, and necklaces with shark’s teeth.

Basically, if you ordered everything in a comic book, you’d have all the tools necessary to become the most awesome person on earth! Now it seems like it’s all anti-drug ads and video games. Kids, take our advice. Put down the video games, start doing drugs, get a fake goatee, learn Kung Fu, and impress the ladies with your live seahorse collection! And above all, make all-out war every chance you get. Parents love it when you turn their heavily-mortgaged house into a wasteland of trenches, landmines, and human suffering.

Every Child Needs a Fully Automatic Machine Gun!

18 Sunday Nov 2012

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in humor

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advertising, automatic firing bb machine gun, war

1956 machine gun ad bb

1956 was a good year to be alive. For a small investment of $1.25, any child could own a fully automatic machine gun. Plus, at no extra charge, that child could become the Commander-in-Chief of a complete combat unit. These days, we hold ridiculous presidential elections to choose our Commander-in-Chief. But in the good ol’ days, it only took $1.25. Times were simpler then.

This ad brings back fond memories of childhood, when we commanded our own combat unit. Every morning, we would rouse our troops from their slumber and begin combat training in the back yard. Dad liked that he never had to mow the lawn, because we dug a series of trenches and fox holes into it. Mom was often disturbed by the presence of space ships hovering above our house as part of our combat unit. But she did her patriotic duty by continuing to load ammo into our automatic weaponry. The neighbors never complained when our shells misfired and took out their houses, because they knew the price of freedom was eternal vigilance.

Best of all, our new toys made our friend’s toys outdated. What a sensational feature! If only we put children in charge of the arms race, we would have destroyed our foes long ago.

Every Child Needs a Nuclear Submarine!

17 Saturday Nov 2012

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in humor

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advertising, nuclear weapons, Polaris Nuclear Submarine, war

1967 nuclear sub

1968 was a great year to be a kid. For just $6.98 (plus 75 cents postage) two children could purchase their own fully functional Polaris Nuclear Submarine. Yes, fully functional. It had a real periscope, controls that really worked, and rockets that really fired. Screw you peace-loving hippies! Our kids were keeping an eye on the Red Menace, with their hands on the trigger!

This ad brings back so many fond memories of our childhood, where we routinely fired nuclear missiles at the godless oppressors with our little brothers and sisters. Every day, we’d flush the cooling water from the reactor into a large bucket. Mom would take it outside and dump it on the neighbors’ lawn. The neighbors never did know why all their flowers died and their pets grew hideously-deformed extra limbs. But that was the price of freedom in the good ol’ days!

It makes us sad, looking at the little tykes these days. They grow up with their padded car seats, their baby-on-board window hangers reminding everyone to be careful around them. Their Nerf guns fire foam-covered projectiles that hardly ever put an eye out. We teach them that bullies are bad and that they should not fight at recess. AARRGGHHH! You pussies! Weaklings! Learn how to operate a Polaris Nuclear Submarine! Feel the hot burn of uranium on your face in the morning and learn to love it! Atomize them all and let Jesus sort them out!

Kids these days. For more informative reading about the real joys of atomic weapons, we recommend you visit Atoman and Atomic Follies.

Grog Grows Own Tail!

29 Saturday Sep 2012

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in humor

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advertising, dinosaur, grog, grog grows own tail, plants

grog grows own tail

Dude, a dinosaur that grows a tail you can plant and watch turn into a flowering tree. Then he grows another tail — and another — This is blowing our minds! You know all those things on your list of things to do if you had a time machine? Going back to the 1960s to pick up our own Grog for a dollar is number 2 or 3 on ours. Take 50 bucks and get a whole yard full of them!!! The only problem will be exchanging these 2012 dollar bills.This ad comes from the very first issue of X-Men.

Insane Vintage Sinclair Dinosaur Memorabilia!

30 Monday Jul 2012

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in dinosaur

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advertising, dinosaur, Sinclair, Sinclair Dinosaurs, Sinclair Oil, Sinclair World's Fair Dinosaur

In the 1930s, dinosaurs became mascots for the most endearing propaganda advertising campaigns of all time. All that mining and drilling turned up some cool dinosaur finds, and Sinclair put them to work as poster boys for the oil revolution. Sinclair Oil built a dinosaur-land for the World’s Fair, ran dinosaur-themed ads in popular magazines like the Saturday Evening Post, dreamed up some most excellent collector dino stamp books, and even used that gnarly petroleum to make plastic toys for kids. Even though Sinclair stopped handing out awesome free dinosaur toys in the late 1970s, you can still see a brontosaurus on their signs.

Feast your eyes on this cool dinosaur memorabilia from Sinclair. Then go picket their service stations until they start handing out free dinos again!

You might also like our scans of the complete promotional booklet, Sinclair and the Exciting World of Dinosaurs!


















Kryptonite Rocks!

28 Monday May 2012

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in superhero

≈ 1 Comment

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advertising, Kryptonite, Kryptonite Rocks, Superman

Here’s another one of the rare ads we just couldn’t bring ourselves to delete from the archives. Straight out of 1979, this ad for “Kryptonite Rocks” is for one of those things we always wanted our parents to get for us. After all, they glow in the dark! The kryptonite, that is — not our parents. On the other hand, if you asked Superman, he would tell you that Kryptonite does NOT rock! It sucks!

Become a TV Remote Control Operator!

26 Friday Aug 2011

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in humor

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advertising, Become a TV Remote Control Operator, marijuana

We hope you Martians appreciate the fact that we take any and all opportunites to incorporate writing about comic books into our college assignments. When we could analyze any print ad of our choice, there was really only one glorious option: the anti-marijuana ads published in Marvel Comics. This one came from somewhere in the middle of Matt Fraction’s & Greg Land’s run on Uncanny X-Men.

What did our instructor in “Principles of Advertising” have to say? “10 out of 10. Excellent – once in a while I get something from a student that makes ME think.”

Date: June, 2009. Magazine on stands 3 months prior to listed publication date.

Magazine: Uncanny X-Men (ISSN #1083-401X) by Marvel Publishing, Inc., a subsidiary of Marvel Entertainment, Inc.

Description of Ad: 2-page, centerfold, full bleed.

“Become a TV Remote Control Operator” ad parodies the unmotivated stereotype of marijuana users and warns, “There aren’t many jobs out there for potheads.” The ad abandons traditional moral and/or safety arguments about marijuana usage in favor of a single economic argument. Ad directs readers to AboveTheInfluence.com for more information.

This ad was part of an ad series run in Marvel Comics that year, all with similar layouts and graphic sense, and showing consistent branding and logo throughout. The series included other jobs like “couch potato.” Other ads, also from this company with a somewhat different visual approach but consistent humor include two CGI slugs sitting at a table with a pile of salt, remarking, “What’s the worst that can happen?”

Circulation: 04/09 Uncanny X-Men #508 – 76,442 (Obrien).

Estimated readership: Comic books are often shared with friends and siblings, and many of them are sold 1, 2, or more times on the aftermarket for used books and comics. It’s safe to assume a larger readership than circulation.

Estimated cost: Unknown. Checking with Marvel’s Advertising Department via email on rates. ***note: I contacted the listed email for Marvel’s ad department in the inidicia and no one ever got back to me.***

Target Market: The comic book is rated T+, a Marvel ratings system similar to “PG-13” for movies. The target market for Uncanny X-Men is mostly older teens and twenties, though the readership has a large segment of readers over 30. As a demographic trend, comic books are currently made in the U.S.A. by Gen X-ers for themselves and Gen Y, with a significant number of baby boomers in editorial and creative positions. The reference in the ad to college taking four long years suggests the target market of the ad itself is traditional college age – late teens to early twenties.

Does Ad Work for the audience? The ridiculous title gets your attention and interest. The ad also boasts ideal placement – not only in the middle of the magazine but in the middle of the issue’s narrative. A variety of readers sampled found it humorous enough to read the ad, and some remembered the logo and or website. All, however, remembered the point. It’s efficacy in deterring marijuana usage could not be studied, but it does at the very least succeed in communicating its most essential message.

Further Analysis:

A similar anti-drug ad running in comic books in the early 2000s was truth®. Through bold, sometimes disturbing images, truth® portrayed big tobacco as a liar. truth® invited readers to learn more of the truth about cigarettes on their website – the things big tobacco didn’t want the reader to know. Part muck-racking, part sensationalism, and part public service announcement – but did they work? A study of 50,000 youth “concluded that 22 percent of the overall decline in youth smoking from 2000 to 2002 was directly attributable to the truth® campaign” (Moriarty, 27).

On the other hand, Professor Herbert Jack Rotfeld of Auburn University claims public service advertising “misdirects resources and attention,” and calls it a “wasted effort” (278). “Advertising can’t do anything to help solve the problem,” says Rotfeld.

New Yorker contributor and best-selling author Malcolm Gladwell might agree with Professor Rotfeld. In Tipping Point, Gladwell describes studies on the increase in suicides after the press reports suicides – and the strangely congruent increase in airplane crashes after the press reports an airplane crash. The numbers Gladwell cites suggest that publishing stories about suicide and crashing a plane leads very predictably to more people crashing their planes and killing themselves. One might wonder if publishing ads about drug use might not similarly lead to more incidents of drug use.

Professor Cornelia (Connie) Pechmann of UC Irvine believes that advertising for cigarettes leads to increased intent to smoke among adolescents (171). Marvel’s Editor In Chief Joe Quesada, in a move Professor Pechmann would appreciate, banned all images and instances of smoking in Marvel Comics. His father contracted lung cancer and died – and Quesada used his editorial authority to prevent children from choosing a similar path. But has Quesada defeated his own efforts by frankly addressing marijuana smoking in the magazine through advertising?

Did Marvel’s 508th issue of Uncanny X-Men persuade any readers that marijuana use is uncool, unwise, and economically unsound? Or did its collegiate audience laugh at the joke and decide to smoke? Does the presence of marijuana in the publication amount to little more than product placement? Even if we could track the hits on abovetheinfluence.com, the data only tells us the ad got attention and achieved interaction with the readers. But it would tell us little of the actual results.

Did teenagers around the country log on to the site as they abused marijuana as a prank? Were they horrified by the information there? Were they helped? It is hard to say. Because marijuana is a black market product, we cannot obtain reliable data on product sales or customer usage. Placing these ads right now is mostly an act of faith. If the federal government would allow the commodity to be bought and sold on the open market, regulated and taxed, we could obtain and track reliable data on the efficacy of these ads.

Works Cited:

Obrien, Paul. “Marvel Month-to Month sales: March 2010.” The Beat: The News Blog of Comics Culture. 03 May 2010 .

Moriarty, Sandra E., Nancy Mitchell, William Wells. Advertising: Principles and Practice. New Jersey: Pearson Prentice Hall, 2009.

War Is Not Healthy for Children and Other Living Beings!

26 Thursday May 2011

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in humor

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advertising, Donald Duck, Indie Comics

Just how big a dose does Donald Duck desire to see the world in such vibrant colors? And why isn’t the duck wearing any of these groovy patches from the inside cover?

Collector’s Guide: From Donald Duck #153; Walt Disney, 1973. Reprinted by Whitman.

Charles Atlas Ad

26 Tuesday Apr 2011

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in humor

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advertising, Charles Atlas

What can we say? No vintage comic book collection would be complete without some Charles Atlas ads, even here in Martian cyberspace. And remember kids, violence is the solution to your problems. What you really want to do with your life is get as huge as you can and stomp the &%$# out of anyone who gives you grief. Oh yeah, you might want to hire a good lawyer who handles assault cases, too.

Something’s Sensed My Magnetic Cargo!

17 Thursday Mar 2011

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in humor

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advertising, orbitrons, Superman, twinkies

superman meets the orbitrons

Normally we skip these Hostess Twinkies ads, but Superman flying a spaceship through a cloud of happy face aliens was just too much!!!

Fruit Stripe Land!

06 Sunday Mar 2011

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in humor

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advertising, Fruit Stripe Gum

You guys are cool! Take the day off and have fun in Fruit Stripe Land! Now available in psilocibin and mescaline flavors.

Comic Book Ads Corrupt Youth!

01 Tuesday Mar 2011

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in humor

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

advertising, comic book collage, smoking

When Joe Quesada eliminated all representations of smoking years ago at Marvel, he took a major stand against a propaganda campaign that Marvel had pushed for years. In the 1970s — an era of rampant drug use and the dissolution of the nuclear family — Mighty Marvel’s Bullpen was at the front lines of the corruption of the American mind. Here, the so-called Incredible Hulk delivers a not-so-subtle message to troubled youth.

Comic Book Ads Corrupt Youth

Nuclear power was sold as safe and friendly to the American public — and the minds of children were an atomic battleground. If you need any more proof that the military-industrial complex was pushing nuclear power to children, just look at what they were up to in 1974!

Comic Book Ads Corrupt Youth

Things didn’t get any better in comic books in the 1980’s. Children were still bombarded with moral relativism and other heinous activities in the form of seemingly innocent messages from pop icons.

Comic Book Ads Corrupt Youth

As we examine the moral turpitude of comic books, we must never forget the new low reached by DC in the 2000’s. When Marvel’s Editor-In-Chief Joe Quesada banned all depictions of smoking, DC moved to capture the youth smoking market by unveiling the new JSA — The Juvenile Smoking Association.

Comic Book Ads Corrupt Youth

In this reprehensible title, all characters constantly chain-smoked, often winning victories over their villians through their superhuman, nicotine-enhanced abilities. Featured revisions of classic DC characters in this outrage included Smokerman, Buttman, Hackman & Hackwoman, ‘Reds’ Lantern, the Black Lung Canary, and a version of the Flash that could smoke a carton in the blink of an eye.

Even as DC continued to promote smoking to children with The Juvenile Smoking Association, Marvel struck even harder with a piece of muck-raking work exposing the manipulation of children into massive amounts of over-priced sugar consumption using toys and trinkets and other “free” promotions.

Comic Book Ads Corrupt Youth

It didn’t stop with Marvel and DC, this war on the values of our children. With violence at school on the rise, Image moved to capture the youth market by publishing ultra-violent and satanic titles like Spawn. They filled the books with advertising funded by pro-violence special interests. This ad shows how guns and violence were pushed upon minors as a form of acceptable entertainment years before video games like Grand Theft Auto and the new Wii M-16 Assault Rifle became so popular.

Comic Book Ads Corrupt Youth

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