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1956 was a good year to be alive. For a small investment of $1.25, any child could own a fully automatic machine gun. Plus, at no extra charge, that child could become the Commander-in-Chief of a complete combat unit. These days, we hold ridiculous presidential elections to choose our Commander-in-Chief. But in the good ol’ days, it only took $1.25. Times were simpler then.

 
This ad brings back fond memories of childhood, when we commanded our own combat unit. Every morning, we would rouse our troops from their slumber and begin combat training in the back yard. Dad liked that he never had to mow the lawn, because we dug a series of trenches and fox holes into it. Mom was often disturbed by the presence of space ships hovering above our house as part of our combat unit. But she did her patriotic duty by continuing to load ammo into our automatic weaponry. The neighbors never complained when our shells misfired and took out their houses, because they knew the price of freedom was eternal vigilance.

Best of all, our new toys made our friend’s toys outdated. What a sensational feature! If only we put children in charge of the arms race, we would have destroyed our foes long ago.

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