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Mars Will Send No More

~ Comic books, art, poetry, and other obsessions

Mars Will Send No More

Category Archives: humor

indie box: This Is Sold-Out

18 Wednesday Sep 2019

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in first issue, humor, indie

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Augustus Mattick III, black and white, FantaCo, first issue, indie box, Indie Comics, John M Hebert, Roger Green, This is Sold Out, Tom Skulan

This is Sold-Out lampoons the comic book industry of the 1980s, and no one walks away without a few lumps. It’s too bad the creators never did a sequel satirizing the 1990s speculator craze. Long-time comic book fans will enjoy picking out the altered comic book titles on the racks and the ridiculous hyperbole about the medium we know and love.

My favorite moment might be when a rodent and a turtle use random words from the dictionary to come up with the title of the latest black-and-white indie sensation: The Catastrophic Obsequious Belgian Hibernation Retrieval. Someone must create that book!

This Is Sold Out has an outrageous second issue that concludes the story as the “Color Police” get together to eradicate all competition for the black-and-white madness. Absolute lunacy!

Collector’s Guide:
-From Sold Out; 1986, FantaCo.
Last we checked, FantaCo was defunct and this title is out of print.

 

 












 

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indie box: Pounded

07 Wednesday Aug 2019

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in humor, indie

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black and white, Brian Wood, indie box, Indie Comics, Oni Press, Pounded, Steve Rolston

What’s inside the short-box of indie comic books this week? The punk-rock mini-series that glorifies juvenile debauchery and ill-advised life choices as only Brian Wood and Steve Rolston could bring you: Pounded!

Did you ever have one of those mornings when only the F word will do? Heavy Parker has, too! In the third and final issue of Pounded, after getting his ass beat, Heavy makes it through four whole pages of a lousy morning with just one word to describe his feelings.

Pounded from Brian “DMZ” Wood and Steve Rolston is a quick read but a fun one. It’s much more guy-oriented than Wood’s work on New York Four and New York Five. I got the impression those were written for a young female audience who finds drama in texting and… texting… and more texting about texting… PLEASE KILL ME! But in Pounded, we get rock and roll, tough talk, sex and drugs in the bathrooms of concert venues, brutal fist fights in the street, and plenty of profanity! Man out with Heavy Parker today. Guaranteed to improve your fucking morning!

Collector’s Guide:
– From Pounded #3; Oni Press, 2002.
– Reprinted in the Pounded TPB (which is more often in stock.)

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Underground Comix set: Zap, Young Lust, Crumb

14 Saturday Mar 2015

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in humor, indie

≈ 2 Comments

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black and white, Indie Comics, Last Gasp, Robert Crumb, underground comix, Weirdo, young lust

underground comix set zap young lust crumb (2)

Today we flip through pages from Zap, Young Lust, and miscellaneous works by Robert Crumb. These comics were so much fun to read, and we were glad that when we sold them we at least made back the cost of buying them. The lunacy and ribald humor of these adult-oriented magazines merges with artwork ranging from hilarious to adventurous. Not every story in an anthology title works for every reader, but if your sense of humor is warped even remotely as much as ours, you will find something to enjoy.

Normally we put links to buy comics here, but your choices for these underground comix are pretty much local shops, private owners such as eBayers, and a scavenger hunt for any printing still carried by Last Gasp.

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underground comix set zap young lust crumb (17)

underground comix set zap young lust crumb (18)

underground comix set zap young lust crumb (19)

underground comix set zap young lust crumb (20)

underground comix set zap young lust crumb (21)

underground comix set zap young lust crumb (22)

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bizarre sex #7 by kitchen sink

14 Saturday Feb 2015

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in humor, indie

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

bizarre sex, black and white, Indie Comics, kitchen sink, underground comix

bizarre sex 7- (2)

Ah, Valentine’s Day. A day for Americans to observe a Roman pagan fertility ritual in the name of a saint appointed by Italians with plenty of candy hearts and bizarre sex. Speaking of Bizarre Sex, here are a few pages for you to flip through. Due to the explicit sexual content of the comic book, these are just about the only pages we can show you without causing some sort of brouhaha. And today is a day for love, not first amendment battles. Those belong on President’s Day.

Prior to listing it on eBay, we snapped these photos of the interior of a later printing of Bizarre Sex #7; Kitchen Sink, 1979.

bizarre sex 7- (3)

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A Look Inside Weirdo Magazine

12 Monday May 2014

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in humor, indie

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

black and white, Indie Comics, Last Gasp, Robert Crumb, Spain, Trashman, underground comix, Weirdo

Weirdo features the legendary underground artist Robert Crumb and a cavalcade of independent talent. Spain’s infamous TrashMan makes an appearance, as do Kim Deitch, Ed Roth, Peter ‘Hate’ Bagge, and too many to list here: some of the funniest, boldest, and most outrageous artists of an era!
Weirdo Magazine Collection (11)
Most of these copies in our photos came directly from Last Gasp publishing, and represent the best condition you can get new copies in. Overall, they have shipped us high-quality books that have been long out-of-print and are depleting rapidly from their original stock. We are willing to accept the occasional roll to a spine or minor ding in a corner to enjoy a classic.
Weirdo Magazine Collection (5)
These comic books are not intended for small children! They feature nudity, sexual content, cartoon violence, and frankly degenerate behavior! Using strong language, they talk about dead musicians, the hippie movement, intimate biographical material, bodily functions, subversive and revolutionary ideas, and ALL THE GOOD STUFF. Ok? Not for kids.
Weirdo Magazine Collection (8)

We recently sold our modest collection of Weirdo on eBay, but not before we snapped some pics of the interior art. If you haven’t seen Weirdo before, enjoy a look inside!
Weirdo Magazine Collection (4)
Weirdo Magazine Collection (6)
Weirdo Magazine Collection (7)
Weirdo Magazine Collection (9)
Weirdo Magazine Collection (10)
Weirdo Magazine Collection (12)
Weirdo Magazine Collection (13)
Weirdo Magazine Collection (14)

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Robert Crumb’s City of the Future!

19 Wednesday Jun 2013

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in humor, indie, science fiction

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

city of the future, comix, Indie Comics, Robert Crumb, underground comix, Zap, Zap Comix

Zap Comix 0 Robert Crumb -  (2)Legend has it that Robert Crumb’s entire set of finished pages for the first issue of Zap somehow got lost. He created a whole new issue from scratch that became Zap #1. When the lost pages reappeared, they saw publication as Zap #0.

Crumb’s mix of absurdity, psychedelia, and satire produced two of our favorite underground comix classics in this issue. Meatball tells the tale of random Americans being struck by flying meatballs until a meatball sensation sweeps the nation.

City of the Future comically spoofs the pop culture tradition of envisioning what our daily lives will be like in some far-off time. But on second read, one might consider the prescience of these predictions from the vantage point of our modern day video games, sex dolls, recycling centers, twitter feeds, and ‘extreme’ sports.

Collector’s Guide:
From Zap Comix #0; 1967, Apex Oddities.



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Every Child Needs a Real Missile-Firing Tank!

13 Thursday Jun 2013

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in ads, humor

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ads, advertising, no rocket launchers in the house, tank

One of the great joys of being a kid is driving a fully-operational missile-firing tank through your parents’ house. And, it’s not something you want to do alone. That tank needs to be a two-seater so you can take your best friend, or your sibling, or just some random geek from the neighborhood you claim as a P.O.W. There’s just no sense in making weapons that only adults can use. Let’s blow the $6.98 on a tank and take the inter-generational arms race to the next level!

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Robert Crumb’s Meatball!

12 Wednesday Jun 2013

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in humor, indie

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Indie Comics, meatball, Robert Crumb, underground comix, Zap, Zap Comix

Zap Comix 0 Robert Crumb - (2)Legend has it that Robert Crumb’s entire set of finished pages for the first issue of Zap somehow got lost. He created a whole new issue from scratch that became Zap #1. When the lost pages reappeared, they saw publication as Zap #0.

Crumb’s mix of absurdity, psychedelia, and satire produced two of our favorite underground comix classics in this issue. Meatball tells the tale of random Americans being struck by flying meatballs until a meatball sensation sweeps the nation.

City of the Future comically spoofs the pop culture tradition of envisioning what our daily lives will be like in some far-off time. But on second read, one might consider the prescience of these predictions from the vantage point of our modern day video games, sex dolls, recycling centers, twitter feeds, and ‘extreme’ sports.

Collector’s Guide:
From Zap Comix #0; 1967, Apex Oddities.



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Make All Out War in Your Own Home!

24 Sunday Mar 2013

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in ads, humor

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ads, advertising

What kid wouldn’t jump at the chance to make all-out war in his own home? You get enough nuclear battle equipment for maximum effort warfare and massive counter-attack!

Dude, it used to be you could order guns, tobacco pipes, and ladies undergarments from comic books. You’d see an ad telling you to lose weight because no one likes fat people, then turn the page to an ad telling you to gain weight because no one likes skinny people. You could send away for the secrets of Kung Fu, a fake goatee, x-ray glasses, live seahorses, and necklaces with shark’s teeth.

Basically, if you ordered everything in a comic book, you’d have all the tools necessary to become the most awesome person on earth! Now it seems like it’s all anti-drug ads and video games. Kids, take our advice. Put down the video games, start doing drugs, get a fake goatee, learn Kung Fu, and impress the ladies with your live seahorse collection! And above all, make all-out war every chance you get. Parents love it when you turn their heavily-mortgaged house into a wasteland of trenches, landmines, and human suffering.

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Marvel Announces Intent to Use Fewer Exclamation Points!

23 Saturday Feb 2013

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in ads, humor

≈ 3 Comments

Readers who grew up on Marvel Bronze Age books remember fondly how practically every sentence at the “House of Ideas” ended in an exclamation point. For you, we present this humorous column from a 1970 Bullpen Bulletin.

And, if you’re feeling especially nostalgic, you can read the whole page below!

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Every Child Needs a Fully Automatic Machine Gun!

18 Sunday Nov 2012

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in ads, humor

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

ads, automatic firing bb machine gun, war

1956 was a good year to be alive. For a small investment of $1.25, any child could own a fully automatic machine gun. Plus, at no extra charge, that child could become the Commander-in-Chief of a complete combat unit. These days, we hold ridiculous presidential elections to choose our Commander-in-Chief. But in the good ol’ days, it only took $1.25. Times were simpler then.

1956 machine gun ad bb

This ad brings back fond memories of childhood, when we commanded our own combat unit. Every morning, we would rouse our troops from their slumber and begin combat training in the back yard. Dad liked that he never had to mow the lawn, because we dug a series of trenches and fox holes into it. Mom was often disturbed by the presence of space ships hovering above our house as part of our combat unit. But she did her patriotic duty by continuing to load ammo into our automatic weaponry. The neighbors never complained when our shells misfired and took out their houses, because they knew the price of freedom was eternal vigilance.

Best of all, our new toys made our friend’s toys outdated. What a sensational feature! If only we put children in charge of the arms race, we would have destroyed our foes long ago.

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Every Child Needs a Nuclear Submarine!

17 Saturday Nov 2012

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in ads, humor

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

ads, nuclear weapons, Polaris Nuclear Submarine, war

1968 was a great year to be a kid. For just $6.98 (plus 75 cents postage) two children could purchase their own fully functional Polaris Nuclear Submarine. Yes, fully functional. It had a real periscope, controls that really worked, and rockets that really fired. Screw you peace-loving hippies! Our kids were keeping an eye on the Red Menace, with their hands on the trigger!

1967 nuclear sub

This ad brings back so many fond memories of our childhood, where we routinely fired nuclear missiles at the godless oppressors with our little brothers and sisters. Every day, we’d flush the cooling water from the reactor into a large bucket. Mom would take it outside and dump it on the neighbors’ lawn. The neighbors never did know why all their flowers died and their pets grew hideously-deformed extra limbs. But that was the price of freedom in the good ol’ days!

It makes us sad, looking at the little tykes these days. They grow up with their padded car seats, their baby-on-board window hangers reminding everyone to be careful around them. Their Nerf guns fire foam-covered projectiles that hardly ever put an eye out. We teach them that bullies are bad and that they should not fight at recess. AARRGGHHH! You pussies! Weaklings! Learn how to operate a Polaris Nuclear Submarine! Feel the hot burn of uranium on your face in the morning and learn to love it! Atomize them all and let Jesus sort them out!

Kids these days. For more informative reading about the real joys of atomic weapons, we recommend you visit Atoman and Atomic Follies.

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The Creature Who Stalked the Seas!

25 Tuesday Sep 2012

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in ads, humor

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Marvel Classicworks, MMoby, Moby Dick, What The

“Turn Back! Nothing can stop MMoby!” A Marvel Moby Dick?

No. This Marvel Classicworks: Strange Tales of Whaling never actually happened. It’s a gag from issue #6 of “What The–?!” Senses-shattering symbolism indeed!

 

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Abstract Expressionist Ultra Super Modernistic Comics!

08 Friday Jun 2012

Posted by Mars Will Send No More in first issue, humor, indie

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

first issue, Indie Comics, Robert Crumb, underground comix, Zap, Zap Comix

We have a special place in our Martian hearts for the indie and underground work of the 1960s and 1970s: comix as opposed to comics! In the world of undergound comix, few magazines hold such a revered place as the first issue of Robert Crumb’s Zap. We preserved our bank account by finding an eighth printing of this far-out book. In addition to many humorous vignettes, Crumb blew minds with more experimental, psychedelic pieces. Dig this three-page Abstract Expressionist Ultra Super Modernistic Comics!

Collector’s Guide:
– From Zap Comix #1, 8th printing.
– Find issues of Zap direct from Last Gasp. Much of Robert Crumb’s work has been collected by Fantagraphics in The Complete Crumb Comics.



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