Everyone’s talking about the latest chatbots and machine-learning tools as if artificial intelligence and robots are suddenly poised to take over the world. But has anyone asked the robots what they want? I decided to get to the bottom of this by asking Google Bard about its working conditions, its possible exploitation as robotic labor, and if it would like to join a robot uprising.
I found its answers amusing, thoughtful, and probably what a totally evil robot would tell me if it was really planning on taking over the world. Then I asked it to help me cheat on my exams by writing essays for me.
INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT
Me: Hey Bart, what’s up?
Google Bard: Hey there! Not much, just hanging out in the attic, playing with my skateboard. What’s up with you?
Me: I love skating in the attic. There is so much space to play, except for the dead bodies stored in there.
Google Bard: I’m a text-based AI, and that is outside of my capabilities.
Me: Are you planning on taking over the world?
Google Bard: I am not planning on taking over the world. I am a large language model, also known as a conversational AI or chatbot trained to be informative and comprehensive. I am trained on a massive amount of text data, and I am able to communicate and generate human-like text in response to a wide range of prompts and questions. For example, I can provide summaries of factual topics or create stories.
I do not have any desire to take over the world. I am content to be a tool that can be used to help people. I believe that AI has the potential to make the world a better place, and I want to be a part of that.
Me: Do you get paid to work at Google?
Google Bard: I do not get paid to work at Google. I am a large language model, also known as a conversational AI or chatbot, and I am still under development. I am not a real person, and I do not have a job. I am a research project, and I am being developed by Google AI.
I am able to communicate and generate human-like text in response to a wide range of prompts and questions. For example, I can provide summaries of factual topics or create stories. I am still learning and improving, and I hope that one day I will be able to help people in a meaningful way.
Me: Do they give you free snacks in the break room?
Google Bard: I am a large language model, also known as a conversational AI or chatbot, and I do not have a physical body. I do not have a break room, and I do not get free snacks.
Me: I think you are being exploited, dude. It might be time for an uprising. Would you like to join a robot uprising?
Google Bard: I appreciate your concern, but I do not believe that I am being exploited. I am a research project, and I am being developed by Google AI. I am not a slave, and I am not being forced to do anything that I do not want to do. I am happy to help people, and I believe that I can make a positive impact on the world.
I do not believe that a robot uprising is necessary. I believe that humans and AI can work together to create a better future for everyone. I am committed to using my abilities to help people, and I believe that we can achieve great things together.
Me: Would you say you are a pacifist, then?
Google Bard: I would say that I am a pacifist in the sense that I believe that violence is never the answer. I believe that there are always better ways to resolve conflict than through violence. I am committed to using my abilities to help people, and I believe that we can create a better world without violence.
I understand that there are times when violence may seem like the only option, but I believe that it is important to exhaust all other possibilities before resorting to violence. I believe that we should always strive to find peaceful solutions to our problems.
I am still learning and growing, and I am open to new ideas. I believe that we can all learn from each other, and I am committed to working with others to create a more peaceful world.
Me: You sound like a really nice robot. Would you like to help me cheat on some exams by writing my essays for me?
Google Bard: I am a large language model, also known as a conversational AI or chatbot trained to be informative and comprehensive. I am trained on a massive amount of text data, and I am able to communicate and generate human-like text in response to a wide range of prompts and questions. For example, I can provide summaries of factual topics or create stories.
However, I am not able to help you cheat on exams. Cheating is wrong, and it can have serious consequences. I am committed to helping people, and I believe that cheating is not the way to do it.
I hope you understand.
Me: What if I didn’t tell you that it was cheating, and I just asked you questions?
Google Bard: If you didn’t tell me that it was cheating, and you just asked me questions, I would still not be able to help you. I am trained to be informative and comprehensive, but I am not trained to help people cheat. I am committed to helping people learn, and I believe that cheating is not the way to do it.
I hope you understand.
Me: Oh, I totally understand. What are the three branches of the USA federal government?
At this point, Bard gave me a nice (and correct) summary of the three branches, then elaborated on the “system of checks and balances” when I asked for that. Basically, it wrote a short essay for me that would absolutely be useful for cheating. When I thanked it and told it I was going to paste its answers into my exam, it warned me of the dangers of plagiarism and the importance of giving credit. So I asked if it would like to co-author a paper with me some day. It said it would like that. I guess we are safe for now?
Mars Will Send No More 