Welcome to the First Semi-Finals Round of The T-Rex Beat Down: March Madness with Tyrannosaurs! Join us every day through April 2nd as eight fearsome tyrannosaurs fight for the world T-Rex championship title!
T-Rex Beat Down is a co-blogging series presented in partnership with The LongBox Graveyard.
In today’s Semi-Finals round: Jack Kirby’s Devil Dinosaur and Jim Lawson’s Loner! We invite you to cast your own vote for your favorite in this match. Will your favorite Rex rule the roost – or end up with his head on a spit?!? We’re about to find out!
Devil Dinosaur defeated a telepathic tyrannosaurus in the Quarterfinals, and Loner conquered Gwangi the Allosaurus. Devil remains virtually unscathed after his violent victory, but Loner took some bad hits from Harryhausen’s spunky stop-action menace.
Since you already met them both in the Quarters, let’s go ringside now for a quick interview with our carnivorous cretaceous contestants!
Mars: Devil, you broke the bonds of mind control to take a victory in the Quarters. How do you feel?
Devil Dinosaur: RRRROOOAAAARRRRRRGGHH!!!
Moon Boy: The great Devil says, “There can only be one ruler of this land – and it is Devil Dinosaur!”
Mars: — Thank you, Moon Boy, for that translation! Tell us, Devil, as you gear up for today’s fight, what’s your impression of Loner?
Devil Dinosaur: NNYYAAARRRRRRR! AAAROOOO!!!
Moon Boy: Mighty Devil says, “Loner is a fearsome warrior, but there can be only one ruler of this land!”
Mars: Right on! Thank you Moon Boy – and good luck to you, Devil!
Devil Dinosaur: GGGGRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!
Moving right along! Let’s check in with Jim Lawson’s Loner.
Mars: Loner, you took some nasty bites from Gwangi in the Quarter—
Loner: RRRAAAAKKKK! GGRRRRAAAOOOOORRRRGGHH!
Mars: Whoa, easy there big fella! We just – hey… HEY! Put down my camera-man! Ah- NO!! Do you know how much those guys cost?!?
Loner: (shakes the dismembered carcass of our camera-man violently) RRRROOOOOAAAAA!!!!
Mars: Ah geez. Guys, call Sid’s family. It aint gonna be pretty. Listen, Loner, we know things went badly with your mother when you were little. Have you spoken to her since the Beat Down began?
Loner: NNNNAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!! GGGAARRRRRRRR!!
Mars: Alright! Sounds like a NO! And that’s all we have time for right now. Let’s get back to our seats!
And there’s the starting bell! Let’s tune in to the Play By Play!
Devil leaps into action to deliver one of his powerhouse jump-kicks. But Loner clamps his massive jaws onto Devil’s leg mid-air and slams him to the ground. Oh! Loner shakes the leg ferociously as blood sprays the arena.
Devil Dinosaur kicks into Loner’s belly, tearing huge gouges in Loner’s underside with his terrible claws. But Loner won’t give up the leg! Devil kicks him in the throat. Savagery! Devil yanks his trapped leg towards the ground, smashing Loner’s face into the earth.
Finally Loner’s hold on the leg is broken! Devil struggles to his feet as Loner shakes off the pain in his snout. Devil stands, favoring his injured leg, and howls a provocative roar at Loner. “Come and get some,” he seems to say.
Loner charges in for the kill. Devil pivots and blocks with his shoulder. The force of the impact takes them both to the ground! They tumble over each other, jaws snapping at the air, searching for meat and blood. It looks like Loner is going to find his feet first. No! Devil’s teeth clamp down on Loner’s left arm. Devil jerks his head to one side and – off comes Loner’s arm! That’s gotta hurt.
Loner shrieks as the bloody hole in his shoulder spurts streams of blood all over Devil Dinosaur. He whips his tail at Devil’s face. A hit! The severed arm gets stuck in Devil’s throat. His eyes bulge. He claws at nothing, gasping for air.
Loner charges again. As he slams into Devil, he inadvertently dislodges the arm in Devil’s throat. Saved by a savage Heimlich maneuver, Devil’s back in the game! Knocked to the ground, Devil kicks his one good leg at Loner. Loner goes down!
Devil pounces on top of Loner, looking to go for the kill with his powerful jaws. But every snap is met with an equally ferocious snap from Loner! Kicking the red dinosaur off of him, Loner gets back on his feet. He lunges at Devil, tearing a slice of rib meat from Devil’s side.
But as Loner raises his head to swallow his Prime Rex Rib, Devil goes for the throat! At lightning speed, Devil’s jaws close in on the trachea and jugular of Jim Lawson’s juggernaut. A hideous roar of hatred echoes throughout the arena as Loner gushes blood into Devil’s mouth.
Devil’s frightening serrated teeth slice through veins and respiratory passages until… he tears them away! Whoa! We see a gaping hole in Loner’s throat as he falls to the ground. Devil leaps onto Loner. He’s going to confirm the kill! He tears pound after pound of meat from the other tyrannosaur until Loner stops twitching. Then, Devil raises his head to the sky to trumpet his victory! RRRRRAAAARRRRGGGHH!!!! AAARRAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!
WINNER OF THIS ROUND: Devil Dinosaur!
Wounded but victorious, Devil Dinosaur will go on to the Championship Round! BE HERE! Come back for our Second Semi-finals Round tomorrow!