Note: Due to the number of responses we get from readers who thought we were SERIOUS when we made this post, we made some edits recently.
Paul at Longbox Graveyard challenged us to do our own Top Ten DC Characters post – mainly so we could continue our friendly rivalry of tossing rotten eggs at each other’s Top Ten lists. Paul, we’re happy to oblige. But first, witness a gallery of the suckiest comic book characters ever invented – the DC Villains!
Only George Perez’s masterful artwork could make us give a damn about this rogue’s gallery of losers. Lex Luthor’s got potential. We’ve enjoyed some stories featuring Lex, like John Byrne’s version of Superman. Consider Byrne’s Superman #2: Lex gets evidence that Kent and Supes are the same guy, but his egomania won’t let Lex accept this answer. But dude, whatever this crappy costume is they made for him in the 1980s was all about, it completely sucked. He’s mad because he blames Superman for making him bald, but he dresses in this obscenely lame get-up. Sheesh.
Deathstroke the Terminator is cool. WAY cool. We like him. In fact, almost every one of the DC Villains we do like come from the mind of Marv Wolfman during his Teen Titans run.
Brainiac sucked until they made him a robot, which somebody posted HERE on scans_daily.
Polaris was kind of cool – magnetism powers – but as a character he sucked, too. Cheetah? Suck. Solomon Grundy? Suck. Penguin? Ugh. Sinestro? Big time suck. Villains with the same powers as the hero always suck!!! Sabretooth? COME ON! He’s Wolverine! Oh, that’s Marvel. Reverse Flash? Dude, get an idea! Anyway..
Paul disagrees, of course. He likes DC Villains. So feel free to lambaste us for being insensitive luddites with the IQ and cultural sophistication of a turnip. It’s the blogging version of making our action figures fight, which is great fun.
TOP THIRTEEN DC CHARACTERS:
We see that the current Official Poll that Paul cites includes Neil Gaiman’s Death character, so Vertigo is open in this competition. And since DC seems to own Wildstorm these days, we’re figuring that’s fair game too.
In no particular order:
1. Swamp Thing.
2. Jenny Sparks (a Warren Ellis character created on his run in Stormwatch, later in The Authority.) Runner up: Jack Hawksmoor.
3. Deathstroke the Terminator (Teen Titans villains created by Marv Wolfman.) Runners up: Trigon, Psimon.
4. Jack Marlowe (a combo of Hadrian, Emp, and Void from WildC.A.T.S.)
5. Mitchell Hundred (Ex Machina)
6. Matty Roth (DMZ)
7. Sandman/Morpheus, King of Dreams. Runners up: Matthew the Raven and Death.
8. Starfire. Runner up: Cyborg.
9 OMAC by Jack Kirby. Runner up: Kirby’s Mister Miracle.
10. Rorshach (Watchmen)
11. Elijah Snow (Planetary)
12. Wildfire from Legion of Superheroes Characters
13. V (V For Vendetta)